Have you been considering trying to get your wife to have a threesome? According to a recent study in Psychology Today, over 82% of men admitted to wanting a threesome. Enough studies have been done to show this is a fairly accurate representation of men in society as a whole. That’s a lot of men who’ve fantasized about being with two partners at once.
However, according to the same study, only about 24% of men have actually had one. That’s a huge discrepancy between people who want to have threesomes and people who’ve actually had them. When asked about the discrepancy, most men admit they’ve never had one because they’re too afraid to ask their wives. If you’ve been having the same problem, this guide was written specifically to help you approach the subject with care and hopefully receive the response you want.
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7 Steps to Get Your Wife into a Threesome
If you’re trying to get your wife to have a threesome, there’s a certain way of approaching the subject. You can’t rush into it; you can’t be pushy, and you must approach it in a way that makes your wife feel loved and secure. Here are some tips:
1. Find the Right Time
When trying to have a threesome with your wife, it’s important to ask at the right time. Feel out her mood. You certainly don’t want to ask her when she’s in a bad mood or feels bad, but you also don’t want to ask her right after the two of you have been intimate either. Doing so could cause her to think she wasn’t enough for you or didn’t satisfy you.
There are certain signs that could indicate she might be into having a threesome. If you notice her flirting with others, if she encourages you to flirt, if the two of you often enjoy porn together, if she’s openly bisexual – all of these things could mean she might be open to the idea. If you notice any of these, bring up the subject then.
Otherwise, wait until you’re both happy but haven’t recently been intimate. It could be after a Netflix binge or while the two of you are lying in bed reading. Just wait for a calm, peaceful and otherwise uneventful time to bring it up.
2. Discuss It in the Abstract
Don’t blurt out, “I want to have a threesome.” Discuss the idea of threesomes in the abstract. Start by asking her about her sexual fantasies. You never know; you may get lucky, and she may say, “I’ve always wanted to have a threesome” first thing.
If she doesn’t say that but does start discussing her fantasies, you can casually ask her if she’s ever wanted to have a threesome. This can open the door for the two of you to discuss it. You should be able to get a feel for her thoughts on threesomes just by discussing them like this.
3. DON’T Approach It as a Way to Relieve “Bedroom Boredom”
There are some things your wife never wants to hear. Asking for a threesome because you’re “bored” or to “spice things up” in the bedroom are two of those things. This is a surefire way to ensure your wife won’t be on board with a threesome. It’ll only insult her, make her feel inadequate and cause her to shut down completely.
4. Make It about Her/Put Her in Control
If she seems open to the idea, another great way to get your wife into a threesome is by making it all about her. Explain to her that you want to see her with another partner. Tell her how beautiful and sexy she is, and let her know seeing her being pleased by someone else would really turn you on. Give her control every step of the way.
5. Allow Her to Dictate the Terms of the Third Partner
Putting her in control also means letting her tell you what type of threesome she’d be comfortable having and with whom she’d be comfortable having it. Would the two of you have an MFM – two males, one female – threesome or an FFM – two females, one male – threesome? If she’s willing to do this for you, you also have to be willing to listen to her opinions on the type of threesome she wants to have.
Additionally, let her dictate the terms of your third partner. Would she feel more comfortable inviting a stranger from a threesome app into your bedroom, or would she prefer to choose someone you both know or someone she knows but that you don’t? It’s important that the two of you agree on the final decision, but you should let her take the lead initially.
6. Don’t Pressure Her
Be sure you don’t push her during any step in the process. If she feels you’re putting too much pressure on her, she may back out altogether. You can’t get your wife to do a threesome if she flat out refuses, and the more pressure she feels, the more resistance she’s likely to give. If she feels comfortable, in charge and like she has the ability to back out at any time without fear of reprisal, she’s much more likely to be comfortable and see it through to the end.
7. Don’t Be Angry if She Refuses
If you’re trying to get your wife to have a threesome but she flat out refuses, you must remain calm and not get angry with her. Getting angry will only upset her further, and it’s likely to make her feel like you don’t love her or don’t appreciate her sexually like you should.
Accepting her refusal with grace will not only ensure your relationship remains intact and healthy; it also lets her know she’s enough for you and that she satisfies your needs. This could have the unintended effect of making her more confident in herself and your relationship, which could make her more open to the possibility of a threesome in the future.
If She Agrees
If you’re successful in your attempts to get your wife to have a threesome, check out our guide to having the perfect threesome for more tips and ideas on how to make it successful. Also, keep the following in mind:
There May Be Some Jealousy
No matter how excited you and your wife are about a threesome, there may be some jealousy that pops up during any stage in the process. If you understand upfront this could happen, you’ll be able to better manage those feelings.
It’s also important to remember that either of you can stop the threesome at any time. Just because you start doesn’t mean you’re obligated to finish. If the jealousy gets too intense or either of you feels uncomfortable at any time, you should stop. The potential damage to your relationship isn’t worth the instant gratification of the sex.
Be Realistic in Managing Your Expectations
A first-time threesome may not go as smoothly as you’d imagine. Threesomes are hard work! The first time you have one may not be as amazing as you’d think, but don’t worry. Just like anything else, it gets easier, and you’ll get better at it with time.
Allow Her to Set the Pace for a Second Threesome
Finally, don’t assume that just because you get your wife to have a threesome, she’ll be okay with having another one. If she enjoyed it and is excited about having another one, that’s great, but be prepared for the reality that she may not want to do it again, and if she does, she may want to wait a while. Don’t push her, and don’t suggest doing it again.
If you bring it up again, you’ll seem too eager, and it could lead to her feeling like she’s not enough to satisfy you sexually anymore. You brought it up initially. Give her the opportunity to broach the subject with you the second time. As long as she knows you enjoyed the first threesome, she’ll ask you again if she’s willing.
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