If your sexual appetites involve anything other than one single woman and one single man having sex alone somewhere private, it can sometimes be hard to satisfy your needs. If you and your partner have been trying to find a threesome partner and are having no luck, that isn’t a huge surprise, especially if you live in a rural or extremely conservative area. You shouldn’t get discouraged though. It’s certainly possible for a couple to find a threeway partner to satisfy both partners’ needs. You just need to know all the best places to look.
The 10 Easiest Ways to Find a Threesome Partner

1. Register on Numerous Dating Websites
There are a ton of great swingers, threesome and bisexual dating apps and websites available for couples who want to find a third person for their bedroom activities. The trick is to not waste your time on the wrong ones. Many dating apps are geared towards one-on-one dating and just aren’t ideal for searching for a third in a relationship. If you’re hoping to use online dating sites and apps to find a threesome, here are some of the best options:
- AdultFriendFinder
- Feeld
- 3Fun
- 3somer (app only, no website)
- BiCupid
- Alt
- GetItOn
Other apps like Tinder can yield results as well, but when it comes specifically to finding a threesome, we find the seven sites/apps listed above to be the best options.
2. Visit Bars and Clubs
Although it might seem a little low-tech, bars and clubs are still some of the best places to meet people for hookups, whether they’re one-on-one hookups, threesomes or moresomes. In these situations, it’s best if you go to the bar and/or club together with your partner so there are no illusions about what you’re hoping to find. Often, if either you or your partner goes alone, the person you meet doesn’t understand you’re trying to find a threesome and feels betrayed when s/he finds out that’s what you were seeking.
If you both go together, though, the people you talk to will quickly understand you’re a couple looking for a third in the bedroom. This helps speed up the process. Furthermore, a woman may be hesitant to discuss a threesome with just a man; it may make her uncomfortable. If a female is there for the woman to see, that can put her at ease and reassure her that what you’re discussing isn’t shameful and won’t make anyone upset or jealous.
3. Put an Ad on Classifiedads.com
Say what you will about Craigslist, it was actually a really great way to find a woman for a threesome. No matter what you were looking for, you could find it on Craigslist. Unfortunately, though, Craigslist removed the personal ads section from its website a couple of years ago, leaving a lot of users without a way to find what they needed sexually.
Classifiedads.com is a way to fill that void.
In fact, the personals section on Classifiedads is very similar to what you might remember from Craigslist. There are sections for “Men Seeking Women,” “Women Seeking Women” and everything in between. You’ll probably have the most luck in the “Casual Dating” section. That’s the area where people are very specific about what types of hookups they’re looking to find. There’s no vetting system or background checks though, so use this site responsibly. The first time you meet with your potential third, make sure you do it safely.
4. Visit a Strip Club
You’re probably thinking, “Not a lot of women go to strip clubs! Why would I go there?!” It’s true. Strip clubs are traditionally places inhabited by men as opposed to women. There are two reasons to check out a strip club if you’re trying to find a threesome partner though. First, even though there aren’t a lot of women who visit strip clubs, there are some, and if they’re there for their own entertainment – not with a boyfriend or spouse, in other words – then you already know they like women.
That’s a great way to start a conversation about finding a third person for your bedroom. While it may be uncomfortable to ask a woman in a bar if she’s also into women and it’s downright creepy to ask a random woman on the street, in a strip club, it isn’t too far of a stretch to say, “You’re obviously interested in women. Any interest in a threesome with me and my partner?”
Secondly, the strippers themselves can be threesome possibilities. Take your partner with you to the strip club. If you notice a particular stripper is paying much more attention to her than she is to you, chances are she might be interested in women. Pay for a private dance with her and discuss the possibility of a threesome there, or wait for her to have a break or get off work to broach the subject.
Just be aware that some strip clubs have strict policies about dancers dating customers. If that’s the case, please respect the policy of the club. Otherwise, you could get the dancer in a lot of trouble.
5. Be Active on Social Media
Despite the fact that social media is the hangout of choice for tweens and teens, it’s actually a really great resource for adults as well. If you want to find a threesome, don’t discount Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms. Often you’ll find whole groups have been established for people with like-minded sexual desires – places where you’ll fit right in.
Most of these types of groups are private and for good reason. Most people don’t want their private lives on display. For these, you’ll have to find someone already in the group and get them to send you an invitation. Other groups, though, are public. Some examples of these include the Swingers Lifestyle Couples Club and the Swingers Hub. You can find a lot of options on social media if you know where to look.
6. Look for Online and In-Person Swingers Groups
In addition to finding swingers groups on social media sites, you might also want to check out some websites for swingers. Swing Lifestyle, Kasidie and Seek, Discover, Connect are three great examples.
Don’t just limit yourself to online groups either. Ask around; do some Google searches. Find some local swingers groups and sex parties going on in or around where you live. Finding these types of groups might be a little difficult at first because, as we’ve already mentioned, most people don’t want to broadcast their personal lives to the whole neighborhood. Once you find one, though, you’ll have an instant connection to all of the others.
7. Don’t Immediately Discount Your Social Circle
When looking to find a threesome partner, don’t automatically assume you have to find a stranger. As long as you and your partner are both comfortable with having someone you both know as a third, then talking to friends and acquaintances you already know to be bisexual or into polyamory can be a great way to find a threesome. When bringing in someone you know, though, you and your partner must discuss it first and agree on all points. Otherwise, you could find a threesome but lose your relationship.
8. Hire an Escort
If you’re only looking for a one-time thing and aren’t opposed to paying for what you want, consider hiring an escort. There are plenty of websites devoted to providing escorts in all 50 states and beyond. Escorts Affair is one centralized website that provides links and opportunities to find escorts in all the major metropolitan areas. Seeking Arrangement is another site that, while it doesn’t call itself an “escort service” per se, the arrangement is the same.
If you choose to go this route, you must go through a reputable site and be safe. Although based out of the Netherlands, Nightingale Exclusive is one popular site with a stellar reputation that sends escorts all over the world. You should know upfront, though, that these types of services can be very expensive. Furthermore, legally escorts are just that: escorts. They agree to “escort” you to a function. There’s no guarantee of sex. It’s generally understood that escorts will have sex with their clients, of course, but by law, they can’t make any such promises, and you can’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.
9. Become an Active Reddit User
When most people think of Reddit, they think of computer nerds talking about comic books, superhero movies and video games. That’s certainly part of what Reddit is. However, there are also tons of subreddits dedicated to threesomes, orgies, the swingers lifestyle and helping people find a threesome. One such subreddit is Xsome. This is a place where people talk about all kinds of polyamorous relationships. They share photos, videos, stories and more. Reddit users also use the subreddit to find a threesome partner of their own.
10. Shop at Local Erotic Pleasure/Toy/Video Stores
Another convenient and local way to find a threesome is by shopping at your local erotic sex shops. This one can be a little tricky because sometimes people feel embarrassed or ashamed about going into places like this, but you can usually tell those types of people apart from the people excited about being there pretty easily.
In this situation, you just have to use your instincts. This is another place, like the bar or club, where it’s best if you go with your partner. There’s just something about talking to a couple about having a threesome that’s much more comfortable and easy than talking to a single man alone.
If you see someone checking out particular toys that look like they could be used in a fun night of threeway bedroom fun or porno titles obviously about threesomes, say hi. If she seems receptive, strike up a conversation with her. If she seems hesitant to talk, don’t push her, and move on. If she does start talking to you openly and readily, though, introduce your partner and turn the conversation to what you’re looking for in a third partner.
Although this isn’t the most obvious way to find a threesome, people have definitely had enough success with it over the years that it deserves a spot on the list.
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