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How to Find a Threesome Partner for the Bedroom

The 10 Easiest Ways to Find a Threesome Partner

1. Register on Numerous Dating Websites

There are a ton of great swingers, threesome and bisexual dating apps and websites available for couples who want to find a third person for their bedroom activities. The trick is to not waste your time on the wrong ones. Many dating apps are geared towards one-on-one dating and just aren’t ideal for searching for a third in a relationship. If you’re hoping to use online dating sites and apps to find a threesome, here are some of the best options:

AdultFriendFinder
Feeld
3Fun
3somer (app only, no website)
BiCupid
Alt
GetItOn

Other apps like Tinder can yield results as well, but when it comes specifically to finding a threesome, we find the seven sites/apps listed above to be the best options.

2. Visit Bars and Clubs

Although it might seem a little low-tech, bars and clubs are still some of the best places to meet people for hookups, whether they’re one-on-one hookups, threesomes or moresomes. In these situations, it’s best if you go to the bar and/or club together with your partner so there are no illusions about what you’re hoping to find. Often, if either you or your partner goes alone, the person you meet doesn’t understand you’re trying to find a threesome and feels betrayed when s/he finds out that’s what you were seeking.

If you both go together, though, the people you talk to will quickly understand you’re a couple looking for a third in the bedroom. This helps speed up the process. Furthermore, a woman may be hesitant to discuss a threesome with just a man; it may make her uncomfortable. If a female is there for the woman to see, that can put her at ease and reassure her that what you’re discussing isn’t shameful and won’t make anyone upset or jealous.

3. Put an Ad on Classifiedads.com

Say what you will about Craigslist, it was actually a really great way to find a woman for a threesome. No matter what you were looking for, you could find it on Craigslist. Unfortunately, though, Craigslist removed the personal ads section from its website a couple of years ago, leaving a lot of users without a way to find what they needed sexually.

Classifiedads.com is a way to fill that void.

In fact, the personals section on Classifiedads is very similar to what you might remember from Craigslist. There are sections for “Men Seeking Women,” “Women Seeking Women” and everything in between. You’ll probably have the most luck in the “Casual Dating” section. That’s the area where people are very specific about what types of hookups they’re looking to find. There’s no vetting system or background checks though, so use this site responsibly. The first time you meet with your potential third, make sure you do it safely.

4. Visit a Strip Club

You’re probably thinking, “Not a lot of women go to strip clubs! Why would I go there?!” It’s true. Strip clubs are traditionally places inhabited by men as opposed to women. There are two reasons to check out a strip club if you’re trying to find a threesome partner though. First, even though there aren’t a lot of women who visit strip clubs, there are some, and if they’re there for their own entertainment – not with a boyfriend or spouse, in other words – then you already know they like women.

That’s a great way to start a conversation about finding a third person for your bedroom. While it may be uncomfortable to ask a woman in a bar if she’s also into women and it’s downright creepy to ask a random woman on the street, in a strip club, it isn’t too far of a stretch to say, “You’re obviously interested in women. Any interest in a threesome with me and my partner?”

Secondly, the strippers themselves can be threesome possibilities. Take your partner with you to the strip club. If you notice a particular stripper is paying much more attention to her than she is to you, chances are she might be interested in women. Pay for a private dance with her and discuss the possibility of a threesome there, or wait for her to have a break or get off work to broach the subject.

Just be aware that some strip clubs have strict policies about dancers dating customers. If that’s the case, please respect the policy of the club. Otherwise, you could get the dancer in a lot of trouble.

5. Be Active on Social Media

Despite the fact that social media is the hangout of choice for tweens and teens, it’s actually a really great resource for adults as well. If you want to find a threesome, don’t discount Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms. Often you’ll find whole groups have been established for people with like-minded sexual desires – places where you’ll fit right in.

Most of these types of groups are private and for good reason. Most people don’t want their private lives on display. For these, you’ll have to find someone already in the group and get them to send you an invitation. Other groups, though, are public. Some examples of these include the Swingers Lifestyle Couples Club and the Swingers Hub. You can find a lot of options on social media if you know where to look.

6. Look for Online and In-Person Swingers Groups

In addition to finding swingers groups on social media sites, you might also want to check out some websites for swingers. Swing Lifestyle, Kasidie and Seek, Discover, Connect are three great examples.

Don’t just limit yourself to online groups either. Ask around; do some Google searches. Find some local swingers groups and sex parties going on in or around where you live. Finding these types of groups might be a little difficult at first because, as we’ve already mentioned, most people don’t want to broadcast their personal lives to the whole neighborhood. Once you find one, though, you’ll have an instant connection to all of the others.

7. Don’t Immediately Discount Your Social Circle

When looking to find a threesome partner, don’t automatically assume you have to find a stranger. As long as you and your partner are both comfortable with having someone you both know as a third, then talking to friends and acquaintances you already know to be bisexual or into polyamory can be a great way to find a threesome. When bringing in someone you know, though, you and your partner must discuss it first and agree on all points. Otherwise, you could find a threesome but lose your relationship.

8. Hire an Escort

If you’re only looking for a one-time thing and aren’t opposed to paying for what you want, consider hiring an escort. There are plenty of websites devoted to providing escorts in all 50 states and beyond. Escorts Affair is one centralized website that provides links and opportunities to find escorts in all the major metropolitan areas. Seeking Arrangement is another site that, while it doesn’t call itself an “escort service” per se, the arrangement is the same.

If you choose to go this route, you must go through a reputable site and be safe. Although based out of the Netherlands, Nightingale Exclusive is one popular site with a stellar reputation that sends escorts all over the world. You should know upfront, though, that these types of services can be very expensive. Furthermore, legally escorts are just that: escorts. They agree to “escort” you to a function. There’s no guarantee of sex. It’s generally understood that escorts will have sex with their clients, of course, but by law, they can’t make any such promises, and you can’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.

9. Become an Active Reddit User

When most people think of Reddit, they think of computer nerds talking about comic books, superhero movies and video games. That’s certainly part of what Reddit is. However, there are also tons of subreddits dedicated to threesomes, orgies, the swingers lifestyle and helping people find a threesome. One such subreddit is Xsome. This is a place where people talk about all kinds of polyamorous relationships. They share photos, videos, stories and more. Reddit users also use the subreddit to find a threesome partner of their own.

10. Shop at Local Erotic Pleasure/Toy/Video Stores

Another convenient and local way to find a threesome is by shopping at your local erotic sex shops. This one can be a little tricky because sometimes people feel embarrassed or ashamed about going into places like this, but you can usually tell those types of people apart from the people excited about being there pretty easily.

In this situation, you just have to use your instincts. This is another place, like the bar or club, where it’s best if you go with your partner. There’s just something about talking to a couple about having a threesome that’s much more comfortable and easy than talking to a single man alone.

If you see someone checking out particular toys that look like they could be used in a fun night of threeway bedroom fun or porno titles obviously about threesomes, say hi. If she seems receptive, strike up a conversation with her. If she seems hesitant to talk, don’t push her, and move on. If she does start talking to you openly and readily, though, introduce your partner and turn the conversation to what you’re looking for in a third partner.

Although this isn’t the most obvious way to find a threesome, people have definitely had enough success with it over the years that it deserves a spot on the list.

Threesome Dating is the best threesome dating site, here you can find the perfect unicorn or couple for your threesome needs. Whether you’re looking for a threesome, foursome or moresome, a MMF, FFM, MMM or FFF three-way, you’re only a few clicks away. Join to Find a Threesome Now!

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How to Have a Threesome (your detailed guide)

What Exactly Is a Threesome?

A threesome is known by many names. Some people call it a ménage à trois, a throuple or a threeway. Whatever name you give it, it’s the act of having sex with two other partners at the same time. There doesn’t necessarily have to be penetration on everyone involved for it to be considered a threesome either.

If there are three people involved in an intimate, sexual situation, it’s a threesome, regardless of whether or not everyone is “technically” having intercourse. A threesome can be whatever you want it to be. The important thing is that all three people are consenting adults who feel safe and comfortable in the situation. Read on for some of our tips on how to initiate, plan and execute a successful threesome that leaves all three participants satisfied.

How to Find a Threesome Partner

There are several different ways to find a participant for a threeway. You can put ads online, search for local swingers groups or find people at local bars and clubs. For more information on finding a third for your bedroom, check out our comprehensive guide on the subject.

The important thing to remember when searching for a third is to be honest upfront. Let him/her know you want to initiate a threesome and that there’s going to be someone else in the bedroom with the two of you. Also make sure you communicate regularly with your partner so that s/he feels comfortable during the whole process. Even if you think you’ve found the perfect unicorn for the bedroom, you can’t have a successful threesome if your partner isn’t onboard with the choice as well.

9 Tips on Having the Perfect Threesome

In a study conducted by sex researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller, it was determined that 95% of men and 87% of women had fantasized about having a threesome at some point. Despite those incredibly high numbers of people who wanted to have a threesome, though, a 2017 study found that only 18% of men and 10% of women had ever actually had one.

What this shows is that most people just don’t know how to have a threesome. Maybe they don’t know how to find a partner to have a threeway with, or maybe they don’t know how they would possibly start a threesome once all three people were willing. Whatever the reason, there are a lot of people out there being left with their desires unfulfilled. If you’re one of those people, hopefully these tips will help you feel more confident in your ability to have a good threesome and allow you to make your dreams a reality.

1. Discuss Everything with Your Partner

One of the most common questions associated with threesomes is, “How does a threesome work?” If you don’t talk openly and honestly with your partner first, the only answer to that question is that it doesn’t. Communication is key when attempting to have a threeway. You and your partner must be on the same page. You both have to want to have a threesome; you both have to decide whether you want a male or female third; you both have to decide how you’re going to choose your unicorn.

Talk to your partner openly and often. It’s important you both feel safe and comfortable throughout the entire process. If done correctly, a threesome can actually bring you and your partner closer together. Once the two of you finally settle on a third, it’s just as important to communicate openly and often with that person as well.

2. Decide What Type of Threesome You Want

There are four main threesome possibilities – two involving partners of the opposite gender and two involving partners of a uniform gender. Put simply, you can have the following types of threesomes:

Have a threesome with two girls and one guy (FMF)
Have a threesome with two guys and one girl (MMF)
Have a threesome with all females (FFF)
Have a threesome with all males (MMM)

This is another one of those things you and your partner should discuss early on in the process. It’s important that you both agree on the dynamic and that you’re both comfortable with it. If not, feelings can get hurt and resentments can arise.

3. Find Your Partner

(Note: Again, for tips on how to find a threesome partner, visit our guide on the subject here.)

After you’ve determined what type of threesome you’d like to have, the next step is finding a partner. In this situation, most people opt for a unicorn – a relative stranger who comes into your life for the sole purpose of this threesome and then leaves again, no strings attached and no awkwardness left behind. However, many people have actually had good luck using a close friend as a third. Again, the important thing is to communicate and make sure everyone involved feels comfortable with the choice.

4. Get Consent and Define All the Rules/Boundaries

This part is super important. Consent is everything in any type of sexual relationship, including a threesome. Everyone involved should be there because s/he wants to be there, not because s/he feels forced into it for any reason.

You should also figure out everyone’s boundaries beforehand, especially if you’re hoping to bring a little bit of kink into the threesome. There are certain things people just aren’t comfortable doing, and those things need to be addressed immediately. This could be something as small as whether or not it’s okay to kiss and/or talk dirty to all participants to larger issues like anal sex, BDSM, oral sex and more. As long as all of this is discussed upfront, there should be no surprises and no one getting uncomfortable or hurt during the process.

5. Establish a Safe Word

Even when you’ve gotten consent from everyone involved and discussed everyone’s boundaries, you should still establish a safe word. Although threesomes can be amazing, every now and then, once one begins, someone involved starts to feel uncomfortable and wants to stop. Maybe this happens because the threeway isn’t living up to someone’s expectations, or perhaps someone just realizes s/he’s in over his/her head. Either way, consent is only consent until someone says stop.

If you’re having a bit of rough play or role playing in your threesome though, it can be difficult to tell when someone is saying stop because s/he actually wants to stop or because s/he’s simply playing the role. That’s why establishing a safe word is so important. That way, at any time, if someone begins to feel uncomfortable or wants to stop for any reason, all parties involved will know immediately that this is real, and they need to stop.

6. Have Enough Space

As we’ve already mentioned, when you have a threesome, there’s more of everything. This means you’re going to need more room than you and your partner usually need for just the two of you. Consider where you want to have your threesome – bed, floor, kitchen table? Wherever you plan to have it, you have to make sure there’s enough space to have it comfortably.

7. Try Not to Couple Up

The important thing to remember about having a threeway is that there are three people involved. You’re probably thinking, “Well… yeah. That’s the point!” In the heat of the action, though, it’s easy to pay attention to one person more than the other. That often leaves the third person feeling unattractive, undesirable and unsatisfied. You have to make a conscious effort to spend as much time, energy and affection on both the other people in the threeway.

This can be especially problematic if you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship with one person and are now bringing a third person into that equation. The tendency will be to show your regular partner more affection. You have to make sure you don’t do that.

8. Be Creative

As long as the rules and boundaries that have been discussed between all of you aren’t crossed, don’t be scared to go outside your normal routines. A threesome is a chance to explore new things. As long as everyone’s onboard with it, try things you’ve never tried before – not just positions but also role playing, light BDSM, dirty talk or even oral and anal sex if that isn’t part of your normal routine. This is a chance to be adventurous. Take it.

9. Always Put Safety First

“Being safe” means a lot of different things, and all of them are important. If you’re going to have a threesome with one or even two new partners, don’t be shy about discussing sexual health. Make sure you know about any diseases or physical limitations beforehand.

Another part of being safe is getting consent. We’ve discussed this already, but it’s important enough to say it twice. Everyone must be consenting because s/he wants to do so, not because s/he’s feeling coerced, pressured or forced. Having the limitations and boundaries talk is also an important part of being safe.

Finally, be safe in what you use. Use condoms. Women, use birth control. Use dental dams. Use whatever you need to use to feel safe and secure. It’s also safe to be prepared.

Have extra supplies close at hand in case you need them. These include extra condoms, wipes and/or tissues, bottles of water, lubrication, etc. If you plan to use toys or extra accessories in your threesome, have those close at hand as well.

A Threesome ‘Don’t List’

Here’s a list of things you definitely shouldn’t do while planning or having your threesome. Doing these things can be a surefire way to blow the whole thing.

Don’t pressure your partner into doing anything s/he doesn’t want to do.
Don’t be afraid to take a break for water, the bathroom, etc.
Don’t emulate porno flicks you’ve seen. You’re not Ron Jeremy or Jenna Jameson. Don’t try to be.
Don’t neglect one partner in favor of the other.
Don’t cross any pre-set boundaries.
Don’t be possessive or jealous.
Don’t be afraid to laugh and act a little silly.
Don’t push yourself beyond your limits.
Don’t compare yourself to the other people in the threesome.
Don’t be afraid to express what you want.
Don’t assume threesomes are only for the young or for men.

Follow these guidelines, and you’re sure to have a successful threesome that pleases everyone involved.

Threesome Dating is the best threesome dating site, here you can find the perfect unicorn or couple for your threesome needs. Whether you’re looking for a threesome, foursome or moresome, a MMF, FFM, MMM or FFF three-way, you’re only a few clicks away. Join to Find a Threesome Now!

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How to Get (convince) Your Wife to Have a Threesome

7 Steps to Get Your Wife into a Threesome

If you’re trying to get your wife to have a threesome, there’s a certain way of approaching the subject. You can’t rush into it; you can’t be pushy, and you must approach it in a way that makes your wife feel loved and secure. Here are some tips:

1. Find the Right Time

When trying to have a threesome with your wife, it’s important to ask at the right time. Feel out her mood. You certainly don’t want to ask her when she’s in a bad mood or feels bad, but you also don’t want to ask her right after the two of you have been intimate either. Doing so could cause her to think she wasn’t enough for you or didn’t satisfy you.

There are certain signs that could indicate she might be into having a threesome. If you notice her flirting with others, if she encourages you to flirt, if the two of you often enjoy porn together, if she’s openly bisexual – all of these things could mean she might be open to the idea. If you notice any of these, bring up the subject then.

Otherwise, wait until you’re both happy but haven’t recently been intimate. It could be after a Netflix binge or while the two of you are lying in bed reading. Just wait for a calm, peaceful and otherwise uneventful time to bring it up.

2. Discuss It in the Abstract

Don’t blurt out, “I want to have a threesome.” Discuss the idea of threesomes in the abstract. Start by asking her about her sexual fantasies. You never know; you may get lucky, and she may say, “I’ve always wanted to have a threesome” first thing.

If she doesn’t say that but does start discussing her fantasies, you can casually ask her if she’s ever wanted to have a threesome. This can open the door for the two of you to discuss it. You should be able to get a feel for her thoughts on threesomes just by discussing them like this.

3. DON’T Approach It as a Way to Relieve “Bedroom Boredom”

There are some things your wife never wants to hear. Asking for a threesome because you’re “bored” or to “spice things up” in the bedroom are two of those things. This is a surefire way to ensure your wife won’t be on board with a threesome. It’ll only insult her, make her feel inadequate and cause her to shut down completely.

4. Make It about Her/Put Her in Control

If she seems open to the idea, another great way to get your wife into a threesome is by making it all about her. Explain to her that you want to see her with another partner. Tell her how beautiful and sexy she is, and let her know seeing her being pleased by someone else would really turn you on. Give her control every step of the way.

5. Allow Her to Dictate the Terms of the Third Partner

Putting her in control also means letting her tell you what type of threesome she’d be comfortable having and with whom she’d be comfortable having it. Would the two of you have an MFM – two males, one female – threesome or an FFM – two females, one male – threesome? If she’s willing to do this for you, you also have to be willing to listen to her opinions on the type of threesome she wants to have.

Additionally, let her dictate the terms of your third partner. Would she feel more comfortable inviting a stranger from a threesome app into your bedroom, or would she prefer to choose someone you both know or someone she knows but that you don’t? It’s important that the two of you agree on the final decision, but you should let her take the lead initially.

6. Don’t Pressure Her

Be sure you don’t push her during any step in the process. If she feels you’re putting too much pressure on her, she may back out altogether. You can’t get your wife to do a threesome if she flat out refuses, and the more pressure she feels, the more resistance she’s likely to give. If she feels comfortable, in charge and like she has the ability to back out at any time without fear of reprisal, she’s much more likely to be comfortable and see it through to the end.

7. Don’t Be Angry if She Refuses

If you’re trying to get your wife to have a threesome but she flat out refuses, you must remain calm and not get angry with her. Getting angry will only upset her further, and it’s likely to make her feel like you don’t love her or don’t appreciate her sexually like you should.

Accepting her refusal with grace will not only ensure your relationship remains intact and healthy; it also lets her know she’s enough for you and that she satisfies your needs. This could have the unintended effect of making her more confident in herself and your relationship, which could make her more open to the possibility of a threesome in the future.

If She Agrees

If you’re successful in your attempts to get your wife to have a threesome, check out our guide to having the perfect threesome for more tips and ideas on how to make it successful. Also, keep the following in mind:

There May Be Some Jealousy

No matter how excited you and your wife are about a threesome, there may be some jealousy that pops up during any stage in the process. If you understand upfront this could happen, you’ll be able to better manage those feelings.

It’s also important to remember that either of you can stop the threesome at any time. Just because you start doesn’t mean you’re obligated to finish. If the jealousy gets too intense or either of you feels uncomfortable at any time, you should stop. The potential damage to your relationship isn’t worth the instant gratification of the sex.

Be Realistic in Managing Your Expectations

A first-time threesome may not go as smoothly as you’d imagine. Threesomes are hard work! The first time you have one may not be as amazing as you’d think, but don’t worry. Just like anything else, it gets easier, and you’ll get better at it with time.

Allow Her to Set the Pace for a Second Threesome

Finally, don’t assume that just because you get your wife to have a threesome, she’ll be okay with having another one. If she enjoyed it and is excited about having another one, that’s great, but be prepared for the reality that she may not want to do it again, and if she does, she may want to wait a while. Don’t push her, and don’t suggest doing it again.

If you bring it up again, you’ll seem too eager, and it could lead to her feeling like she’s not enough to satisfy you sexually anymore. You brought it up initially. Give her the opportunity to broach the subject with you the second time. As long as she knows you enjoyed the first threesome, she’ll ask you again if she’s willing.

Threesome Dating is the best threesome dating site, here you can find the perfect unicorn or couple for your threesome needs. Whether you’re looking for a threesome, foursome or moresome, a MMF, FFM, MMM or FFF three-way, you’re only a few clicks away. Join to Find a Threesome Now!

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